Get Over a Broken Heart
How to Get Over a Broken Heart
- by Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You have broken up with someone you cared for deeply. What to do? How to get over a broken heart?
First, let’s look at what not to do. These strategies will make your situation worse, and will not help you to get over a broken heart…
1. Don’t try to get back together. Almost always, break-ups happen for a good reason. Accept that the relationship is over – and move on with your life.
2. Don’t look for another relationship right away. Rebound relationships are generally ill-fated. Don’t begin another relationship to “prove” something to your ex. Don’t get into another relationship because you are feeling lonely and missing your ex. The only valid reason to enter into a relationship with someone is because you find that person to be exceptionally special and compatible – and you won’t be in the right frame of mind to make that judgement until you have been out of the old relationship for at least several months.
3. Don’t spend a lot of time alone. You may feel that you want to avoid anyone that knew you and your ex as a couple. You may feel that you want to avoid friends that might be judgmental. Nonetheless, it is crucial that you keep up social contacts. Try not to lose the friendships and support network you have built, but if you do find yourself isolated from previous connections, focus all your energy on building new (non-romantic) connections.
4. Don’t complain about your ex, and don’t listen to your friends’ complaints about your ex. Further, don’t talk about your ex at all – either favorably or unfavorably.
So what will help you get over a broken heart? Try these tips…
1. Keep busy with enjoyable activities – especially group activities. Continue with those groups and activities you previously enjoyed, and add some new ones. To the extent possible, focus on groups and activities that include members of both genders, but are not dating related. Best of all, find activities that have a physical aspect. Try a book discussion group, a church or community committee, yoga, Qigong, hiking, biking, cooking classes, wine tasting, classes of any sort. Don’t limit yourself. Fill your time with many activities – both old and new.
2. Have positive conversations with your friends and family. Talk about anything other than your ex, and keep the conversations positive and focused on the future. If some of your acquaintances persist in bringing up your ex or being negative, spend less time with them and find more positive people to hang with.
3. Be of service to those who are less fortunate than yourself. There is no better way to get over a broken heart – or any situation that causes you to feel sorry for yourself – than being of service. Volunteer at the Red Cross blood bank, the local hospital, the library, your church… The possibilities are unlimited – just do it.
4. Get inspirational support daily… read an inspirational book or quotations, meditate, do yoga or Qigong, perhaps light a candle and contemplate positive thoughts, or begin the habit of daily journaling.
Have patience, keep your thoughts positive, and soon you will be over your broken heart and moving forward into your new life.
Jonathan Lockwood Huie, consultant, speaker, personal coach, lover of life, author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, and co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, is known as “The Philosopher of Happiness.” This item was originally published on www.DreamThisDay.com