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by Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Although the terms Self Confidence and Self Esteem are often used interchangeably, they actually describe two quite different concepts.

A dictionary defines…

• Self Confidence (and its synonym Self Assurance): a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.
• Self Esteem (and its synonyms Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love, and Self Regard): a healthy belief in oneself and respect for one’s worth as a person.

Thus Self Confidence is about one’s abilities, while Self Esteem is about one’s sense of worth as a person. Let’s look at what this means through an example…

When you go for a job interview, self confidence is the quality that causes you to believe that the interviewer will find you qualified, and offer you a job. Self esteem is the quality that causes you to believe that you are a valuable person whose life is important — regardless of the opinion of the interviewer and of whether you are offered the job.

Self confidence and self esteem overlap in that both qualities will tend to get you to apply for the job, and to show up smiling and well prepared for the interview.

If you get offered the job, both qualities will tend to continue to support a positive attitude and positive actions in your life. However, if your job application is declined, your self confidence is more likely to be undermined than your self esteem.

Self confidence depends upon frequent success for reinforcement. If you apply for ten jobs and are turned down ten times, your self confidence is likely to be greatly diminished — or perhaps shattered. To gain self confidence again, you would need to make some external change. For example, you might apply for a different kind of job, or search in a different city. If you inflate your self confidence solely through internal means – such as repeating, “I will get this next job. I will get this next job.” – you will have created a false self confidence, and are likely to be disappointed by job interview number eleven.

Self esteem, in contrast, is solely about your internal state, and does not require external reinforcement. A strong sense of self worth (self esteem) could easily survive a hundred job application rejections. With a belief in your self worth, you might continue to show up smiling and well prepared for job interviews, or you might start your own business, or you might move in with a friend and help with the housework. In any case, you would continue to have a positive attitude, value yourself, and welcome the world with a smile.

How to Gain Self Confidence

Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can’t
are both right.
- Henry Ford

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

• Choose Your Battles: Match your talents with your goals. If you have a degree in nursing, apply for jobs in nursing. Applying for a job either as a surgeon or as a floor sweeper will end up harming your self confidence.
• Build on Success: Create small successes, then build upon those successes to gain self confidence, and move on to larger accomplishments and successes.
• Be Objective: Knowing your limitations is not an obstacle to self confidence. Rather, having a realistic assessment of what you can’t do, as well as what you can do, provides a sound basis for self confidence.
• Expect Some Failures: Babe Ruth set records for strikeouts as well as for home runs. Keep a long term perspective, and avoid reacting emotionally to failures — even a string of failures.
• Be Persistent: As long as you have chosen your battles wisely and you know objectively that your abilities are well matched to the tasks you have set for yourself, have determination and patience as you work toward success.
• Celebrate Every Victory: Whenever you have a success – even a small success or a partial success – celebrate that success. Celebrating success creates a mindset for further success.

How to Build Self Esteem

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

• Trust Your Own Value System: You can’t please everyone, and you will make yourself miserable if you try. Define your own life purpose. Establish your own metrics for measuring your progress along your life path. Trust yourself, trust your values, and trust the actions you take in support of those values.
• Ignore Criticism: Other people will often criticize you. Their criticism doesn’t make you a failure in any way – it merely speaks to one of two things: either the other person’s sincere difference of opinion, or their self-serving attempt at manipulation.
• Associate Mostly with Positive People: While you will always encounter some criticism, it will be far easier to build your self esteem if you choose to associate mostly with positive people who respect you and support your life purpose and goals.
• Don’t Compare Your Life to Any Other Life: Your life is neither better nor worse than anyone else’s life — it is simply your own life, to do with whatever you choose. As the old saying goes, “Comparisons are odious.” It is fatal to one’s self esteem to view one’s life as inferior to someone else’s life. Les obviously, it is also damaging to self esteem in the long run to compare your life with the lives of less fortunate people. While it may have the short term benefit of encouraging a sense of gratitude for the blessings of your life, such comparison can degenerate into a lower regard for the dignity of all lives and eventually a lower esteem for your own life.
• Answer to a Higher Authority: Although it is not necessary, believing in a higher power that is compatible with your value system makes it easier to hold firm to those values in the face of the criticism and opinions of others.
• Renew Your Self Esteem Daily: Establish daily practices to support and build your self esteem. Consider beginning a daily practice of meditation, yoga, Qigong, positive affirmations, or inspirational reading.

How Self Confidence and Self Esteem Reinforce Each Other

Trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Self esteem and self confidence work best together. When you believe in your inherent value, it becomes easier to gain a belief in your ability to succeed at real world tasks. And when you believe in your abilities, it becomes easier to value your whole self.

By building both your self esteem and your self confidence, you can live joyfully and productively – regardless of circumstances.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie, consultant, speaker, personal coach, lover of life, author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, and co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, is known as “The Philosopher of Happiness.”

This article was originally published on www.DreamThisDay.com

- by Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have broken up with someone you cared for deeply. What to do? How to get over a broken heart?

First, let’s look at what not to do. These strategies will make your situation worse, and will not help you to get over a broken heart…

1. Don’t try to get back together. Almost always, break-ups happen for a good reason. Accept that the relationship is over – and move on with your life.

2. Don’t look for another relationship right away. Rebound relationships are generally ill-fated. Don’t begin another relationship to “prove” something to your ex. Don’t get into another relationship because you are feeling lonely and missing your ex. The only valid reason to enter into a relationship with someone is because you find that person to be exceptionally special and compatible – and you won’t be in the right frame of mind to make that judgement until you have been out of the old relationship for at least several months.

3. Don’t spend a lot of time alone. You may feel that you want to avoid anyone that knew you and your ex as a couple. You may feel that you want to avoid friends that might be judgmental. Nonetheless, it is crucial that you keep up social contacts. Try not to lose the friendships and support network you have built, but if you do find yourself isolated from previous connections, focus all your energy on building new (non-romantic) connections.

4. Don’t complain about your ex, and don’t listen to your friends’ complaints about your ex. Further, don’t talk about your ex at all – either favorably or unfavorably.

So what will help you get over a broken heart? Try these tips…

1. Keep busy with enjoyable activities – especially group activities. Continue with those groups and activities you previously enjoyed, and add some new ones. To the extent possible, focus on groups and activities that include members of both genders, but are not dating related. Best of all, find activities that have a physical aspect. Try a book discussion group, a church or community committee, yoga, Qigong, hiking, biking, cooking classes, wine tasting, classes of any sort. Don’t limit yourself. Fill your time with many activities – both old and new.

2. Have positive conversations with your friends and family. Talk about anything other than your ex, and keep the conversations positive and focused on the future. If some of your acquaintances persist in bringing up your ex or being negative, spend less time with them and find more positive people to hang with.

3. Be of service to those who are less fortunate than yourself. There is no better way to get over a broken heart – or any situation that causes you to feel sorry for yourself – than being of service. Volunteer at the Red Cross blood bank, the local hospital, the library, your church… The possibilities are unlimited – just do it.

4. Get inspirational support daily… read an inspirational book or quotations, meditate, do yoga or Qigong, perhaps light a candle and contemplate positive thoughts, or begin the habit of daily journaling.

Have patience, keep your thoughts positive, and soon you will be over your broken heart and moving forward into your new life.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie, consultant, speaker, personal coach, lover of life, author of 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love, and co-author of Simply An Inspired Life, is known as “The Philosopher of Happiness.”  This item was originally published on www.DreamThisDay.com

By Dev Saras

A great sex life is invariably the most important thing in the lives of man and woman. It keeps the family bonded. Although there are several different factors to the success of a marriage or a family, sex is one of the most important one. There are certain lifestyle measures that you can take to guarantee healthy and pleasurable sex night after night.

Keep an Active Life

Keeping a physically active lifestyle is important. If your job involves staying mostly before the computers, you should at least include walking, jogging or running in your daily schedule. Go for a walk every day – probably early in the morning. Run or jog for at least 20 minutes a day, three times a week.

If possible, go for other activities like sports, swimming, mountaineering, rock climbing, cycling, or whatever activities that make you sweat. Activities like this can promote production of certain hormones in your body, which is conductive to good health. These activities also keep your mind fresh. Do you want to go to bedroom with as a dull, couch potato? No man would.

Women too should include all activities possible in their daily schedule. If there isn’t much time for exercise, steal some time by walking to shopping centers, office, churches or temples, or whatever places that are less than half a kilometer away. Our forefathers were used to walking several miles a day, every day.

Exercise

Exercising is also important. Yoga is the best form of exercise. You should practice yoga everyday – if that is not possible, at least four times a week. It balances your body, tones your body and keeps that sexy figure of yours. Learn yoga from a master and practice it every day, wherever you are. The several benefits include good metabolism, mind control, physical balance, good physique, stamina, and more.   Exercise also goes well with an active lifestyle.

Watch Your Diet

You are what you eat. If you eat junk food, your body is a junkyard. That is a cruel statement, but a true one. Can you expect good health from bad food? If you eat too much of stuffed food, oily food, fatty food, etc, kick the habit today. Learn to cook and stop eating from bakeries, fast food centers and restaurants. It not only saves your health, but also saves you money.

Include fresh fruits, wholegrain bread, etc. in its variety. The less processed they are, the better they will get. Also avoid eating red meat. You can also live without eating any meat at all.

Aphrodisiacs

If you keep the above three tips, you don’t generally need any kind of aphrodisiacs. Good lifestyle habits are an aphrodisiac in itself. There are a variety of aphrodisiacs listed in Ayurveda. Aswagandha, Shilajit, Horny Goat Weed, etc . are common aphrodisiacs. They are aimed at strengthening reproductive organs and increasing pleasure.

Managing your lifestyle according to Ayurvedic principles can work wonders in your life. You will enjoy a far better and healthier life, which also involves good sex. Author Resource:- Dev Sri writes extensively about Ayurvedic practices in Kerala. She invites you to read in detail about Ayurvedic treatments, massage techniques, etc. Log on to http://www.KeralaAyurvedics.com/ today.

By Ryan Hamill

Article Summary: Many of us think about protein supplements and often get confused while choosing a the best whey protein supplement.Selecting the best whey protein supplement proves the worth of your decision and ensures the best use of the money you spent.Let’s see which whey protein supplement should we choose and why.

Many people are spending hours in the gym trying to work out so that they can build their muscles but they are not able to achieve it. The main reason is that a lot of people have not learnt the secrets of bodybuilding. They have a notion that all they need is to go to the gym and after exercising for few days, muscles will automatically develop.

If you want to build your muscles, you should be ready to do a lot of exercises. Doing different types of exercise helps as concentrating on one exercise means that you are only concentrating on one part of muscle and you want to build all your muscles. One should concentrate on each muscle group with one exercise at a time. It is advisable start with less weight and can go on increasing as you progress and in this manner, the muscles will get used but if you use the same weight all the time, the muscle will not grow. The most effective exercise includes squats, barbell military presses, bent over barbell rows, barbell bench presses among others. These exercises permits the use of high volume weights which enables the body to synthesize protein more effectively and this leads to better all round muscle growth.

Proper nutrition and supplements is crucial for those who want to build their muscles if you wish to have the perfect body and loaded muscle. You should take care of your body first by having the right combination of food intake. One should consume more calories that the one he is using per day so that he can be able to put on the muscle mass. For the beginners, they can do without the calories but for the ones, who have advanced in muscle building, must consume calories. For the ones who are exercising hard enough, they need sufficient carbohydrates to fuel the effort and also to maintain the body stores of glucose. Eating protein before and after training helps to induce muscle building effect. This is about one to two glasses of milk or equivalent drink such as whey protein. Aside from whey protein, food to build muscle also includes essential minerals like glutamine and creatine. Both of these play an important role in muscle healing and recovery. Sometimes, we injure or strain our muscles due to over training and that is why we need something that’ll offset those lost muscle due to injury by means of having enough intake of these muscle recovering stuff.

The body is made up of 70% water and many body builders and coaches recommend water as the number one supplement. Water is used to transport nutrients in the cells for processing. Water also helps in keeping the body hydrated giving you the energy to continue exercise.

The muscles need time to recover from the workout. What most people don’t know is that muscle growth takes place during sleep, not during workout. After rest, muscles are stronger than they previously were, and this allows for more growth through workout. By not allowing proper rest, growth can be stunted, loss of muscle may occur, and muscles can be easily damaged. Allowing recovery time, gives our body a chance to adapt to the stress of exercise. The recovery also allows our body to repair damaged tissue and replace fluid loss. Without time to repair and replenish, our bodies will breakdown. For muscles to recover naturally, it can take about 7 days. This is one of the reasons we should only train each muscle group once a week.

Resting between workout sets is also important for indirect growth. By allowing two minutes between each set, it helps with mass, power, and strength. After an intense workout, you want to slowly cool the muscles down, and prepare them for rest. This is also known as Active Recovery. A low intensity workout is a great way to cool the muscles. Cooling muscles after a workout has been known to help speed up the recovery.

About the Author:
Ryan Hamill
Ryan Hamill is an expert on Sports Nutrition and Supplements at bodybuilding supplements. The people at M&M Fitness are specialists at helping athletes of all shapes and sizes achieved their sports and health objectives. Whether it is for weight management, bodybuilding or long distance running, we are the people to talk to.

By Phil Tucker

Article Summary: If you are serious about getting in shape, if you want to lose weight, improve your health and really take control of your life, than you have no doubt considered the importance of joining a gym or beginning an at-home workout program. However, despite everybody’s initial fervor, many people quit less than a month out. They hit a problem, the hardest part of the workout, and they quit. Why is that? And what is that part of the workout that defeats so many?

If you are serious about getting in shape, if you want to lose weight, improve your health and really take control of your life, than you have no doubt considered the importance of joining a gym or beginning an at-home workout program. However, despite everybody’s initial fervor, many people quit less than a month out. They hit a problem, the hardest part of the workout, and they quit. Why is that? And what is that part of the workout that defeats so many? In today’s article we’re going to take a look at the aspect of working out that breaks so many people and help you prepare for your own greatest challenge.

The hardest part of any workout is week three. That’s it, that’s the whole truth, nothing more to say. The reasons are simple, powerful, and totally crushing. Here’s why: people begin their workouts with a fevered desire to get in shape. Something triggers this, whether it’s a moment of ridicule, not fitting into their jeans, or a warning from a doctor. Suddenly it’s all or nothing, and they want to go extreme and lose all that weight right away.

The first and best thing you can do is to get up every fifteen minutes and just do some basic stretches. Remember that your back will suffer the most from being curved all this time, and that your hips and hamstrings will grow sore and compacted as a result. So some of the best stretches you can do are back bends and twists and hamstring stretches. Finally, a good stretch for your hips is to place one ankle over the other knee so that your legs form a figure ‘4′ and to lean forward, developing a wonderful stretch in your hip and buttock.

Once you are stretching out regularly, another great thing to do is once every hour or so to get up and walk around. Ideally if possible you should go up and down a few flights of stairs to move the big muscles in your legs, but even if you just stroll down to the kitchen area that’s fine. The idea is to simply get up and move, to walk around and get the blood flowing.

So they begin their workout and throw themselves into it. They pay a lot of money for equipment, gym membership, new clothing, new shoes. They go extremely radical with their diet, they cut out everything except the very healthiest of food, and get started. The first week is all radical novelty, all exciting challenge and beginnings. The second week is soreness and slogging, it’s losing enthusiasm, it’s realizing that this is all really hard work. And that’s why the third week spells the end.

People think that getting fit is a sprint, not a marathon. They think that they can get in shape in a few weeks, change their bodies altogether in a blink of an eye. Which means that when they don’t get the results they expected straight away, when they realize just how much work it’s going to take, when they see how hard they’re going to have to work, they quit. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why week 3 is the hardest part of any workout.

by Laurie Jean Harrington
I still remember when I finally realized that my life had become unmanageable …

I started drinking when I was just 12 years old. I grew up in the country, and some “farmer boys” down the road gave me some homemade peach wine. I drank it until I blacked out. After that, whenever I got around alcohol, I would find a way to sneak some.

I struggled for decades with dependency to alcohol. I tried all of the self-help books. I was good at doing lists, but I continued to fail, and when I failed, I drank. I was in that cycle of trying harder, failing and drinking to console myself. It would not stop. What was wrong with me?

One night I was at home, drinking alone … as usual. I realized that my life had become unmanageable and that I was going to die if I didn’t do something. I picked up the phone and called Alcoholics Anonymous. I started going to meetings and hearing about God. I couldn’t believe it—a bunch of drunks were telling me that I needed God?

I knew about God, because my mom took me to church every week when I was a kid. But He wasn’t real to me, and my problems were. God was like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, not somebody who could get me to stop drinking.

But I was desperate, so I bought a Bible and started to read it. At first, I had to use a ruler to keep my eyes on the lines because I was so messed up from the withdraws. I felt stupid … I thought, “What good is this going to do?”

In frustration, I prayed: “God, if You are real, please help me to quit drinking.”

One Sunday morning in 1996, I got in a fight with a family member, which pushed me over the edge. I ran out of the house hysterical. I drove and drove and ended up in a parking lot. I was pretty sure it was a church, so I went in. When I walked through the door, I was blown away. The music was unbelievable. The message was amazing. Could God actually be real? It sure felt like it. You guessed it, that church was Northland.

I started going to services and even signed up for a class … but when I showed up the first night, I couldn’t remember the name of the class I had signed up for! A kind woman spotted me and asked if she could help. I told her my dilemma, and she asked: “What are you looking for?” I told her I was pretty much looking for God. She said her class was for new believers and invited me to attend.

Well, I ended up saying the sinners’ prayer in one of her classes. That class became my home group Bible study, and I met with them for three years after that. I had never done life without booze, but I was working through the “12 steps” and succeeding by God’s grace. I was becoming a new creation! I have been sober now for 15 years.

I stayed connected to the community at Northland, attending and even leading classes and small groups, and volunteering as a greeter. In 2009, a group of us started a ministry at Northland called Celebrate Recovery, which provides a safe and welcoming place to begin and continue the healing process.

Celebrate Recovery meets every Friday night at 7 p.m., even on holidays (because those can be the hardest times when you’re struggling). No matter what the “hurt, hang-up, or habit”—chemical, emotional, spiritual, sexual or relational—Celebrate Recovery is here to help. More than 100 people join us every Friday night.

When our lives become unmanageable, we often blame God or feel that somehow He is making things worse. But God has wonderful things planned for us. When we turn our lives over to Him, He is able to do more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

RESPOND.

Celebrate Recovery, Fridays at 7 p.m., Northland at Longwood. Questions? Contact Laurie Jean at 407-927-4393 or lauriejean2 “at” bellsouth.net.

By Steve Manik

Wine is the best way to celebrate an occasion, a promotion, your birthday or having a great time with your friends over the weekend. Wine is considered to be the favorite and royal drink by most people across the globe. The reason is its unique taste and the excitement and energy it provides the body immediately after the consumption. Many health benefits associated with this drink has also made it extremely popular with millions of people around the world.

Drinking wine is fun but tolerating a hangover after wine overindulgence is just impossible. The headaches hurt, your body feels restless and nothing seems to work well. In fact, the Sunday is wasted in getting rid of the hangover you attained last night.  

Don’t worry; there are a lot of techniques you can employ to avoid a hangover and to cure a hangover if you already have one. Here are some tips to get rid of a wine hangover.

H20:
Drink plenty of water. This is a great solution when it comes to getting rid of the hangover you suffered from due to overindulgence in wine over the weekend. Alcohol dehydrates the body. Hence, it is important to replenish it with lots of water. Drink at least one glass of water before each glass of wine you desire to take. This will hydrate your body and also prevent you from overindulging in wine. Water will help you to fight off the hangover monster.

Milk time:
Milk is good for health. You must have heard this cliché for many times. However, drinking milk actually provides you a lot of benefits when it comes to removing the hangover due to overindulgence in wine. Drink milk before having your glass of wine. It provides a protective coating to the stomach and aids in absorption of the alcohol you intake.

Aspirin:
If you want to get rid of a severe headache after indulging in wine, take an aspirin. It will work wonders. Strictly avoid paracetamol or ibuprofen. These medicines usually have bad effects on liver when they get in touch with alcohol.

No dark drinks:
Red wine and whiskey are a total no-no if you want to stay away from the hangover. If you cannot avoid whiskey, try to mix it with soda or water.

Salt is dangerous:
Salt is diuretic. It has a tendency to enhance the process of dehydration.

Prescription drugs are dangerous:
You should not consider mixing wine with prescription drugs. Most people usually mix wine with prescription drugs to enhance the effects of wine and save money on the number of glasses they have.

Have snacks:
Consider having snacks that consists of bread and pasta. Have meal an hour before you want to drink wine. This will absorb the alcohol efficiently and keep you away from over indulgence in wine.

Getting rid of hangover is not easy. You can make this process easy via following the expert tips mentioned above.

Gatorland is so much more than just alligators at a price that doesn’t put a strain on your vacation experience!

At 110- acres, Gatorland provides affordable-priced family fun with thousands of alligators & crocodiles to see, an aviary, breeding marsh with observation tower, petting zoo, nature walk, award-winning gift shop and one-of-a-kind reptilian shows including the Gator Wrestlin’ Show, Gator Jumparoo and the Up-close Encounters Show.

Take a ride on the Gatorland Express train and then head on over to Gator Gully Splash Park where kids of all ages can enjoy a good ol’ fashion squirtfest!

Don’t miss the new rare white alligators on display for a limited engagement at Gatorland’s newest exhibit, White Gator Swamp. Featuring four of the world’s largest white leucistic alligators known to roam the planet, these giant Ivory colored reptiles are each ten to twelve feet in length and weigh over 800 pounds. Their piercing blue eyes are believed to have the ability to command good fortune to those lucky enough to make eye contact with the blue eyed beauties.